I Turned Thirty &

my best friend sent me a packages for seven days straight leading up to it. I heard my fathers voice in a box, voicemails he’d left my friend when he’d accidentally crashed my car. Never let a tinkerer friend change your brake fluid.

I turned thirty & my little sister came to stay with us for a night. If I wouldn’t miss my dogs & Edward so much I’d go visit her so often.

I turned thirty & I didn’t suddenly have a biological clock ticking within me & I hope I never will. I know having a child would be the worst mistake of my life.

I turned thirty & am still terrible about showering.

I turned thirty & we used strong anchors & wire to make my plant room into a “plant womb.” There are now fourteen plants hanging from my ceiling. There are three more empty hangers & I’m waiting to fill each with something special.

I turned thirty & my new friend, who I was becoming quite close with, called me a bitch & a cunt in his car after I paid for his dinner. When I brought it up with him the next day he tried to justify it seven different ways, including blaming me because I “hadn’t said anything at the time.” Each of the justifications utter bullshit. Goodbye & farewell, dickwad.

I turned thirty & Edward took the day off & went to a bunch of plant nurseries with me

I turned thirty & someone told me they liked my singing voice.

I turned thirty & my best friend came to visit for a week & we both cried & hugged each other (hard) the day he flew back home.

I turned thirty & had to buy new pants because somehow I’d suddenly become a size 2. I hate that it’s entirely related to the previous sentence but I finally feel comfortable & confident in my flesh suit.

I turned thirty & I still clean up dog piss everyday.

I turned thirty & shortly before that started actually taking care of my skin. The joke with my friend/skincare spirit guide is that we are “freezing my face at 29.”

I turned thirty & had to leave a shopping plaza before going into any of the stores because my gut was screaming at me that a gunman could show up at any minute.

I turned thirty & didn’t wake up alone for nine days after that.

I turned thirty & I cried in my greenhouse, hiding from my guests, during my little gathering/party. Then I did a lot of jello shots & went back inside. I left the little cups in the backyard & accidentally got a colony of ants drunk.

I turned thirty & not much changed but it was a magical two weeks.

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