Tag: creative nonfiction
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Five True Things
I have left the house twice in the past ten days. The anxiety has become such a beast (and not a “beautiful” one like that stupid ass book says) that I’ve been having to take my Klonopin first thing in the morning with the rest of my morning pills. I used to be able to […]
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Flower Child
I saw a flower on a tree branch while sitting on the fire escape and for a moment I thought it was a baby’s balled fist. I notice children, pregnant women, everywhere. Not because I want a child of my own but becauseI am so afraid of, someday, my person changing his mind about not wanting […]
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The Second Love
I want to be okay, I’m not even asking for good. That was the goal for this next chapter. I wrote it down but being is painful. I know some days it will be, others less. I’ve accepted this much – and yet there are some things I cannot yet accept. I wish for a […]
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SPLITTING
When I was a child, I learned to think of my parents as good or bad. I learned that sometimes they were a source of nurture, comfort & love & other times I needed to separate myself from them for my own safety & well-being. I learned to split people in this way. I developed […]
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I Turned Thirty &
my best friend sent me a packages for seven days straight leading up to it. I heard my fathers voice in a box, voicemails he’d left my friend when he’d accidentally crashed my car. Never let a tinkerer friend change your brake fluid. I turned thirty & my little sister came to stay with us […]
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DEAR H // 10.18.21
Dear H, I’ve been crying about my dad more of late than I normally do. I think it’s because his birthday was on the 13th. I talked to him that day, aloud, walking around the house. It didn’t really feel like a sad conversation – I was just kind of updating him on my life […]
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Dear H // 10.11.21
(in response to this letter from H) Dear H, I have the spins despite not drinking since last night. Dear H, My temples are throbbing. Dear H, The anxiety has been bad lately. My eyes feel like dried out cheese. My rib cage feels as if there’s a bird inside who’s desperately trying to get […]
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If I Wrote An Honest Resume
If I wrote an honest resume, one where the sections of time without employment were filled in with the truth – no socially acceptable excuses for them – it would read like this:
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I do not know where I fit Into Things.
I do not know where I fit into things. I’m insecure. I’m jealous of medical school. I want to know he’d pick me over medical school if he had to choose. I want to feel chosen. I can’t remember the last time I felt chosen. We argue a lot about who made what choices to […]
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The Second Worst Panic Attack Of My Life
The second worst panic attack of my life begins while running errands on a Wednesday afternoon. “I’m Kaitlyn Mauro.I’m 26 years old.I live on Winona Avenue in Montgomery, Alabama.I’m in the car with Edward.He’s my husband.He’s holding my hand.I’m from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.My parents are Sandy and Neil.My grandparents are Marilyn, Guy, Patricia, Ernie and Kathy.My […]